“You don’t always have to be right, even if you are.”

Have I told you that my movie tastes have changed a lot in the last few years? I find that my go-to genre is now independent dramas. At least when I’m watching a movie by myself. I think I like different things depending on if I am watching it by myself or with other people. My interests have shifted more to movies that feel more like real life and where I don’t feel like I can predict the ending from the first fifteen minutes. I have found that independent films are more likely to be that. I have also found that they tend to make me feel more than main stream, big box movies. I mean, nothing against bigger hollywood-y movies (you’ve heard me rave about Arrival), but independent films more consistently pack an emotional punch for me.

And sometimes that emotional punch is what I am after. I have realized that watching movies that make me feel strong things (especially sadness) is a very cathartic experience for me. Sometimes I can be an emotion-bottler and I just need something to help me let them all out. Sometimes what I really need is to watch a sad movie by myself and cry.

I don’t tend to watch a lot of movies. I’ll usually opt for a tv show in my downtime because I never feel like I have enough time to dedicate to a movie. A tv show seems like less of a commitment even though I usually end up watching it for at least as long as a movie would have been. But I have watched a couple movies lately and I thought I would tell you about them. Also I really love pulling movie stills into blog posts. I used to do it all the time back when I blogged in University (I went on a bit of a movie blogging spree back then).

Okay, so here are the three movies I watched in the last week. Rust and Bone and Obvious Child I had not seen before, Celeste and Jesse Forever is old favourite.

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Rust and Bone

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So remember that book of short stories I told you about where the guy gets his leg bitten off by an orca and the author repeatedly refers to the femur as the tibia and so I stopped reading it? Well, this movie is a combination of two of the short stories from that book. They took one character from two seperate stories and put them into the same story. I don’t know if I told you when I was telling you about the book, I think I focused pretty hard on the “I don’t like these stories” angle, but the first story in the book was absolutely beautiful and I loved it. It went downhill after that. This movie is about the boxer from that first story and the whale trainer from the orca story. In the book they are both males, but they made the whale trainer a female in the movie.

I have had this movie on my to-watch list on Netflix for at least a year. One time I got to where I was going to watch it, realized it was in French and decided I didn’t have the brain power for a subtitle movie and left it.

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I really love Marion Cotillard. At least from the movies I have seen so far. Here character in this movie is pretty intense. The whole movie is pretty intense. She loses both her legs at the knee in an accident during a orca show. In the book, the orca straight up bites the guy’s leg off. The movie is a lot less clear. All you really know is that there was an accident and she wakes up in a hospital room with both of her legs gone.

The other character is a boxer who is newly in custody of his five year old son and who moves to France to live with his sister. His story is a bit different from the book. In the book it is his nephew, I think, not his son. The boy spends a day with him, they are playing on a frozen lake, the boy falls through the ice. The boxer breaks most of the bones in his hands trying to punch through the ice to save him. He manages to pull him out. He has no career options other than fighting, so he continues to box but his hands never really heal and the bones constantly re-break. In the movie, the accident still happens, but not until the very end of the story. I think it has something to do with the fact that they wanted to intertwine the two stories. They sort of introduce the boxer as a character who helps the whale trainer to cope after her accident. Then she kind of becomes that same thing for him in the end.

This movie is intense though. And has a R rating (for good reason), so bear that in mind if you decide to watch it. However, if it make you feel better, that rating is not for the orca incident. I was pretty nervous about having to watch an orca bite a leg off. But don’t worry, you don’t have to see that. As I said above, the whole scene is pretty vague and they film it to feel chaotic and like it would be if you were actually there. You don’t really know what’s happening and you can’t really see what’s going on. I think they might have been going more for just a generally traumatic injury that led to amputation and not an animal attack at all. There are however a few scenes with orcas that are a bit chilling simply because there are orcas in them. If you aren’t weirdly afraid of orcas, they probably won’t bother you at all.

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Obvious Child

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I was looking through the Independent Films section of Netflix and trying to pick something to watch. You know how you spend an hour trying to pick a movie to watch, then get frustrated and just watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine reruns? Well, I was still in the browsing section of that schedule and I was trying to read the description for this movie when I accidentally clicked play. I was about to try to cancel it and go back to my browsing, then I decided, “meh, why not this one?” and just let it play.

I really like this genre of movie. Also Jenny Slate is hella compelling. I had only seen her in sitcoms before (Parks and Rec and Brooklyn Nine-Nine – both times she played slightly crazy girlfriends). I loved her in this. She was charming and funny and real and it kind of made me want to be her best friend. The movie also deals with some heavier things. It is a balance of heavy and light. I think I will watch this one again before I give any real opinions other than that Jenny Slate is funny and cool.

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Celeste and Jesse Forever

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I don’t know if I have ever talked to you about this movie before. It’s quite likely that I have mentioned it, but probably just in passing.

This movie breaks my heart. Something in my chest actually hurts when I watch it.

I’m writing this and then I stop and read it and it sounds kind of cheesy and it frustrates me that I can’t write it better. I wish that I could write words about how I feel that come out as beautiful as I want them to. Sometimes I feel things so strongly that it hurts. You have heard me try to describe something that I think is beautiful before. I think I try to compensate for not having the right words by using a lot of words. The more I feel, the more I say. I am trying so hard to communicate what I feel in a way that you might see it and feel it to be as beautiful as I do.

This movie is nothing particularly special. I think you would like it but it wouldn’t blow your mind or anything. It is sad. But not in a cheesy, depressing way. More in a ‘life sucks sometimes and you can’t go back and change things’ kind of way. In that kind of way that makes a story beautiful. Because it’s real and sad and you wish that just a few things would be different and that there would be one of those happy endings where everything comes together against all odds but it doesn’t because life isn’t like that.

Also I am Celeste.

Maybe that’s why it makes me feel so much. The main characteristic I relate to is easily summed up by a question she is asked about halfway through the movie: “well do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?”

It’s one of those stories that lingers. I couldn’t care less about most of the happenings and ins and outs of the movie. It is the characters that linger and the emotions that they experience and force me to experience. That sometimes we realize too late that we are wrong. And sometimes there is nothing we can do to change something even though everything inside us is screaming that it should have ended differently. That we should be able to fix it. But it’s too late and our chance is gone. And life is long but also short. We have this idea that our life will always work out in the end; that what should happen will happen. But sometimes that isn’t enough and even though we believe something should be a certain way, it won’t ever be. Even though we are right.

Near the end of the movie, Celeste has a line that is one of my favourite lines from any movie ever. It is simple and it perfectly sums up this story:

“You don’t always have to be right, even if you are.”

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The Not Good Times

2016 was a bit of “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times” situation, but I’m just going to tell you about two things that happened that were a) not good, c) are still affecting me, and b) still managed to result in some good things.

I do not like going to the doctor. I used to pretend that I didn’t mind going to the doctor at all, but in reality, going to the doctor makes my blood pressure go up and makes me sweaty and nervous. And I have a great doctor! She’s the best listener. And yet: I resist going to see her on a regular basis. So when 2016 turned out to be The Year Glynis Goes To The Doctor A Ton, I was not pleased.

In July I went to get my hair cut, and it looked great. I’m talking top five haircuts. I get my hair done in Crowfoot, and the salon sometimes doesn’t have much parking so I just park in front of the Chapters and walk over. There’s a (very low) fence to go over (or around, but why would you) on the way between the parking lot and the salon; it’s the type of fence you just swing your legs over and it doesn’t even come up to your hip. So I got my hair cut and it was looking so good and I was feeling it, and I jumped over the fence instead of sensibly swinging one leg, setting it down, and swinging the other. And my left foot landed unevenly on a rock. And that’s how I managed to sprain my ankle badly enough that by the time I finally went to the doctor about it and got imaging done (in DECEMBER) it was still showing an intermediate sprain.

Spraining my ankle meant that I only just this week am getting back to rock climbing, I wasn’t able to do any kind of strenuous walking or hiking this summer, I couldn’t do yoga without having a sore ankle for a day or two after until recently, and I haven’t worn heels in ages which I know is not a big deal but I like fancy shoes and I like wearing them. Not climbing and not doing yoga and not walking much meant putting on weight, which in turn meant dealing with some body image issues again, and meant a severe decrease in strength and stamina, and meant discomfort due to belly pooch when sitting in jeans and I do a lot of sitting at school.

When I finally went and talked to my doctor about my ankle because it was taking its sweet time getting better, she sent me to get an ultrasound done. I was pretty happy about this, because I am afraid of x-rays. They shoot a big science gun at you and all you have to protect you is an itty-bitty lead blanket and what’s it going to do for me, really? Is it going to save me from radiation? I think not. Plus they move your hurting limb around and you know what? X-rays are the worst and I hate them. So when she said ultrasound I breathed a sigh of x-ray relief because praise The Lord I don’t have to get an x-ray.

BUT.

I had to get one anyways. The ultrasound went fine and the technician was great, but then she said, “the doctor [at the imaging place] looked these over and he wants you to get an x-ray,” and on the inside I was like, “CURSES,” but on the outside I said, “okay fine.” I immediately started shivering and had clenched teeth, but I got the x-ray and nothing in my foot is actually broken or torn, thank goodness.

So in the end, I’ve been learning, again, to be patient and gentle with myself. I’ve been having it confirmed that I should probably go to the doctor more. And I’ve done some fear facing, ugh. And my ankle has significantly improved since getting it looked at; I’ve been doing strengthening exercises and such. I can finally get back to climbing.

Onto the other not good thing.

This also happened during the summer. I was visiting Josh in Denver, and we spent a weekend in Aspen. The Monday after we got back to Denver from Aspen I woke up with a fever. I knew right away that something was wrong, since on every other morning in Denver I’d woken up and thrown the blankets off because it was so hot, but on this morning I wanted to find every blanket in the apartment and pile them on top of me until I was on the verge of being crushed by their sheer weight. I texted Josh and said “can you bring me some gatorade at lunch? I think I’m a bit sick” and eventually moved from the bed onto the couch, still swaddled in a giant duvet.

When Josh came at lunch he was like, “oh dear, you really are sick,” because I hadn’t opened the blinds or turned on the lights; I was just lying dejectedly on the couch with tea and a water bottle and some cherries. And so began a week of me alternating between being cold and piling blankets on myself, to me becoming so unbelievably sweaty and hot and taking nonstop cool showers. I drank a lot of gatorade. Josh and I talked about going to the hospital. I googled fevers and decided I was at death’s door. And then: I went to take a shower after sweating it out one day and discovered a weird rash all over my torso.

Cue: me bursting into tears as soon as Josh came for lunch and crying into his shoulder for a good long while, because I was clearly on the verge of a gross, rash-filled, sweaty death. We talked about it and decided that, if I wasn’t better and the rash hadn’t disappeared in the next couple of days, to the American doctors I would go. One part of my brain was saying “U DED” and the other part was saying “maybe this is because of dryer sheets, which you haven’t used for years but have been using here”. As you may have guessed, I did not die. Fortunately, the rash cleared up and my fever burned out in the next day or so (we drove up Mt Evans that weekend and it’s over 14,000 feet. There’s  selfie of me looking VERY ashy and still a bit sick on Instagram somewhere). Unfortunately, it wasn’t the dryer sheets that were the culprit.

You already know this, because I told you about it when I got back to Canada and you were visiting. I was like “listen to this fever story, it lasted several days, my temp went up so high, my usually very regular period came ten days early, AND I had a rash” and you said “TICK BORNE DISEASES IN COLORADO” and I was like “oh shiiiiiiiii”. And so: to the doctor I went, largely because of you and Josh.

I won’t tell you the whole bloodwork story, but after getting blood drawn like four times and going to the doctor twice and having two matching elbow-crook bruise after a mix-up where I had to re-do some bloodwork  (they gave me the WRONG FORM and THREW OUT my BLOOD), I found out that I had somehow contracted and then fought off Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, a tick-borne disease. I hate this so much. I don’t remember being bitten by a tick. I wasn’t in the mountains much this summer due to the aforementioned sprained ankle. I don’t think I went on a single hike this year. I immediately do a tick check after climbing in the mountains during tick season. And yet: I got a bonkers fever anyways. I hate ticks with the heat of a nova.

Okay, but what are the good things that resulted? I went to the doctor so much this year that the last time I was there I was barely nervous. Apparently I’m now immune to RMSF. I didn’t die. It wasn’t contagious. I had people (Josh, you) taking care of me and looking out for me and telling me to take care of myself. I’m also more prone to be like, “I probably have some big disease” whenever my body does something weird, which is maybe not a good thing.

I’ve been thinking about the Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever Incident a lot lately; I don’ t have a doctor in Edmonton right now, just my doctor in Calgary, and I think I might need to resolve that. The idea of finding a new doctor is not very attractive to me, but maybe last year’s doctor times have convinced me that I gotta have a medical professional on hand in the city where I currently reside.

2016: The Highlights.

I was going to make this post about good decisions I made in 2016. But then I got going and it kind of merged with the “times that were good” topic. So I am just going to make it a general 2016 highlights reel.

I thought about doing a separate post about the lowlights of the year. But that seems like it would be a bummer to both read and to write. So I’ll just do a quick recap here and then hurry on to the good stuff. 2016 was maybe the worst year I can remember, but you know that because I spent a good deal of it crying in your general vicinity.

I spent most of the year in my weird ‘I think I’m going to Australia but I don’t know when’ limbo state. I was working so hard to be okay with having no control over all of the big stuff in my life that I started to struggle when I couldn’t control the little stuff. This led to the now-hilarious cracked mug emotional breakdown. Also the ‘the boy doesn’t like me back’  meltdown.

The figurative rug was pulled out from underneath me when I did not get the visa I had waited over a year for. Even though it was taking so long, I really and truly thought I was going to get it and go.

So to recap, I would have to say the low points of 2016 were: (1) the huge sobbing meltdown I had on your bedroom floor, (2) when I completely lost it over that mug breaking and couldn’t figure out why I was such a mess, and (3) that time I called you bawling on the floor of the office. They are all kind of funny to me now, which I think means I have made a lot of progress.

Now, on to the good!

1. I got bangs

I had kind of wanted bangs for ages, but never got them because I wasn’t sure if they’d suit me and I have a pretty serious cowlick that I thought would destroy any attempt. However, I finally found a hairdresser that I trust and who consistently makes my hair look good. She told me I had the face shape and that they would work if I put in a little effort. So I went for it. I know you don’t need proof that they were a good idea, but if anyone else reading this does, here you go:

2. I stopped trying to obsessively treat my breakouts and switched to more natural skincare products

I realize this is a fairly me-specific thing. But I spent the last few years trying to obsessively get my face to clear up by using scrubby face washes, harsh astringents, weak face moisturizers, and acne spot treatments. I visited you once this year and you were all about the tea tree oil. You were mixing it into your face moisturizer and singing its praises. So I decided to give it try. Instead of buying expensive face creams, I switched to Aveeno baby lotion and started mixing tea tree oil in to it. My skin cleared up in a week or two. It was like I was living in a Proactiv commercial. I think part of the problem is that the face creams I was using were not actually moisturizing my face and my face was actually breaking out more because it was dry.

I now use Aveeno baby lotion exclusively on my face and it is working like a dream. I am also a fan of mixing in oils depending on how things are going. I use tea tree oil if my face is oily. Otherwise I usually use Rose Hip Oil.

I have also moved to some other more natural face/cosmetic products. I found an all natural face wash and I use a witch hazel toner. My face is loving it.

Not face related, but I also finally found a natural deodorant that I like and that works. Am I convinced regular deodorant is the worst and will definitely give me cancer? No. But I am not a super sweaty person and I thought that using something natural would make me feel a bit better. AND IT DOES.

3.I switched to a menstrual cup

Some might think this is too much information and I am sorry. Actually, I don’t care at all. This is literally one of the best things that happened to me this year. I will never use a tampon again and I am so happy. This is more comfortable, lasts longer, is significantly cheaper, is environmentally friendly, and has no risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome. I literally could not be happier. Seriously, I cannot recommend it enough. But you know that because I straight up preached you a sermon on this earlier in the year.

4. I left my job at CROW and went back to work at the sawmill

This maybe sounds bad, like the job at camp was bad or something. That is not the case. It was simply that I had a very hard year and it was time to leave. The whole visa thing really took a toll on my mental health and by the time I found out it had fallen through I was pretty broken. My job at CROW was sometimes undefined and stressful. I knew that another year isolated out at the lake would have been a bad idea for my mental and emotional health. I needed to leave and process the year. It worked out really well that I got the job at the mill just before I found out about the visa. It meant that I was super busy and didn’t have time to lay in my bed and spiral when I initially got the news. It also meant that I had a way to make some money and a way to transition out of work at camp. It also gave me a lot of time to think through everything. One of the features of my job at the mill is that the work is usually fairy monotonous and it is almost always noisy and you work with hearing protection in. This means that I spent 10 hours a day in my own head. At first this was pretty painful. But it meant I had to work through my thoughts and the events of the previous months. It was very good for me overall.

4. I went to Wapiti and convinced you to come with me

Okay, I didn’t need to convince you. I just asked you to come and you hopped right on board. It was a super fun weekend and one of my favourite memories from the year. It is preserved in my memory as a sun kissed, cider filled, feather earringed, tie-dyed overalled BFF fest. We may not see each other as often anymore, but we do make the most of it when we do. I gave you the mission of getting a new and fantastic music festival profile picture for me, and you delivered like a champ. Also, our photos of the weekend in general were just awesome.

5. I figured out my face shape

Okay, so this one is a little bit weak. But I have been wondering for ages and I finally measured it out. I have a heart shaped face. Guess what hairstyle works great for heart shaped faces! BANGS!

6. I figured out my Myers Briggs Personality

I have been frustrated that I could never figure out what I was. I took a bunch of online tests in the past, but I always seemed to come out differently. I had one type that would come up more often, but I kind of dismissed it because it was called “The Artist” and I was convinced I wasn’t artistic.

Cut ahead to a night at a close friends house a few months ago. There were a few of us hanging out and we were about to start playing a game when someone cut in with, “What if we did personality tests instead?” So there we all were, doing online personality tests, and I thought I would give the ol’ Myers Briggs another go. I did the quiz and got a personality that was so completely wrong. I read it out loud and everyone was pretty confident it was not me at all. I decided I would pull up “The Artist” one I sometimes got and read it to them and see if they thought it was a better fit. They had changed the name of it from “The Artist” to “The Adventurer.” When I started to read it out it became very clear that it was, in fact, my exact personality. They when I visited you a few weeks later I read some of it to you and you straight up laughed at me and how accurate it was.

So it is official, I am an ISFP. It is kind of funny that you are my best friend and you are a INTJ. So basically we are entirely opposite except for being introverted. It’s kind of cool actually. Maybe that is why we are such good friends? But also surprising that we don’t fight/disagree more often. Really, if you don’t count Drive, I have a hard time thinking about anything that we have really ever fought over.

7. Got two new tattoos

One was planned and professional, the other was a completely impulsive stick and poke. I regret neither.

I still don’t have a good healed photo of the tree. I will have to do that some time. Thanks again for driving me to my tattoo appointment when I was completely and severely sleep deprived.

8. I was a second shooter for a wedding

I got a random message from a photographer acquaintance asking if I was interested in being a second shooter for a wedding. Turns out all her usual second shooters were busy and she was super desperate. Part of me wanted to say no because it was something I had never done before and, therefore, I would likely not be good at it. And I don’t like doing things I am not good at in front of other people. However, I talked with her a bit and found out that due to the nature of the wedding there was very little pressure on me to get any of the shots. Also, it really intrigued me. I want to be a better photographer and I want to learn how to take pictures of people. I said yes and jumped right in. I had fun, learned a bunch, and actually got some good shots that the photographer used!

I had intentions of doing my own edits of a bunch of them to practice, but I only got around to doing like two. My Lightroom skills are still a work in progress.

 

9. I went to a live Olympic-level curling match

I seriously loved this so much. I watched the Men’s Final of the Grand Slam of Curling when it came through Cranbrook. It was a match between the currently number one ranked Swedish team and an amazing and young Scottish team (I was totally team Scotland, I think I just really liked hearing them yell in their Scottish accents). The Swedes won. As I understand it, I think that this win was actually what put them into the number one in the world spot.

Some things you might be interested to know about watching curling live:

(1) Curling warm up is twenty minutes of dudes sliding the full length of the ice in their rock-throwing lunge to pop music. I could have watched them warm up for hours. I wouldn’t have even been mad if they never actually played the match.

(2) When you watch curling on tv and they are lining up their shots, it always seems like they are just pointing and gesturing and trying not to give away their strategy. That is not true, they straight up yell their plans across the ice at each other. If the teams happen to be from Sweden and Scotland, this makes for some entertaining times.

(3) The ends go by really quickly and they hardly stop between them. When they are covering curling on tv I think they just always skip the first few throws and then a few in the middle as well so it seems like there is more time between each one. It actually goes quick fast.

I really want to show you some of the videos I took (particularly of warm up), but it is complicated to link video to this blog and I am not going to upload them to Youtube. So I will just give you a few photos.

 

10. I climbed Racehorse Mountain for the third time

The first time I climbed it we set up a wooden marker at the top. And by ‘we’ I obviously mean some of the guys in my COLTS group carried up these railway-tie things and put them at the top. The second time I climbed it with our PITs Seth and I dragged one of railway-tie things back to the top (it had kind of fallen off a cliff thing) and we all carved our names into it. This time when we got up there it was still there and my name was still there. There is something great about getting to the top of a mountain and finding your name there. Also mountain top selfies are super fun.

 

I could probably keep going, but ten seems like a nice round number.