Last Week

I already started one version of this post and it got very detailed and very long, and so I scrapped it and started over. Here’s the started over version.

There are four main reasons I was in Calgary last week, and they are as follows:

  • My sister’s bridal shower;
  • Dress shopping;
  • Engagement photos; and,
  • My grandma’s funeral.

Needless to say, it was an emotional journey.

My grandma died last Friday, and I spent a great deal of the weekend either crying, actively trying not to cry, or working on feeling better/okay. She had been growing progressively more ill for a long time. On Sunday Josh and I went to the place where Josh got my ring and we figured out what we want my wedding ring to look like, and I also learned that a beloved dog died. I read that news and my brain said , “everyone is dying” and I had to work not to cry in the mall. I emailed my professors, telling them I had to go to Calgary for the funeral and so miss some classes, and they sent me kind replies which made me cry even more. On Wednesday we had a graveside service and the box was so small and it was so cold out and I cried again, with all my family gathered around. I was worried, because my hair and my dress and my lipstick were all working in my favour and was it okay to look cute at the funeral? My uncle and my cousins gave eulogies, people were very kind to us, and after the memorial service the extended clan all came to my parents house and somehow ended up going around the circle and telling stories of how people got engaged before reading sympathy cards, and I think it was good for us to look to the future.

Among other looking-to-the-future activities this week, Josh and I went out to Canmore and Banff and Meg took engagement photos for us. I miss the mountains. Edmonton is nice, but it is very flat. Taking pics was fun; I felt alternately very awkward, rather photogenic, entirely silly, and then some bits of feeling fine and comfortable. It is easy to smile when I look at Josh (ugh so gooshy). By the end of the day my body decided it had had enough of the stress build-up over the past week combined with the dry air and the sans humidifier house and the going from warm car to cold outdoors, and this is the look I was sporting by the end of the day:

IMG_4622

There were no tissues in the car, a true oversight on my part. My nose bled again today, what is the deal?

This was a weird week. I drove by myself to and from Calgary, because Josh went down for work. I may have found my wedding dress. I sent a zillion emails. You visited. My grandma is gone. I went to the mountains. Josh and I booked a venue/caterer combo for the wedding. My sister had a bridal shower. I slept in my old room which is not my room anymore in my parents’ house. I had a productive visit to the doctor. I gave a presentation on Monday which felt scattered and slap-dash but which earned me a 91. I experienced so much kindness from people around me. My nieces have a hilarious game where they pretend to be dogs and we play fetch. I went from laughing to crying or from crying to laughing so quickly several times. I am now very tired. It was such a rollercoaster and I feel like I was gone for a month. Now I have school to catch up on and group projects to familiarize myself with and a photographer to book and and and and and.

2 thoughts on “Last Week

  1. Sounds like a week packed full of the complex goodness and hardness of life. I’m both joyful and sad for you. Hope you are able to rest and recover from those big emotions. Also I’m looking forward to seeing those engagement photos 🙂

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